"My journey out of land of opportunity"

OK here we go again. This time with a bit different thematics, more philosophy and self-development. I was never keen of any kind pre decided form of life and i intend to be the same in future. So, this writing i'm dedicating to my self and to all who is seeking something more out of life, then just to be born and to die.

I found our world, religions or our present being as dead state of mind, no different as to be dead right after being born. That's no morbidity or any other kind of self destructive thinking, it's just the way i'm accepting the life around us. Why is so, that the animals in our presence seems to be so calm, as they participate in different dimension of time? Probably the answer is in perception of what they need or don't. The same pattern we can find in our kids until they are still virgin in relation to materialism and passion. Does that mean that we stuck dead in a living shape? Maybe, but recently i found out that human can exists also by loving somebody and still being independent from society trends. This way of life without watching TV, going to must go places, shopping malls, buying unnecessary things is not going to jeopardize our tends to love someone or our hobbies. It will provide us additional quality time, spend with our close ones and make us even more bulletproof to impacts from surroundings.

When i was much younger, i found quality of life in trends or things from my surrounding and medias. The desire was always as, i want to have sex with this person or i have to marry someone regarding on ones public image or i must have that thing. Mistakes, i made in that time and negative energy I collected along, still follows me around. But what happens next, when we buy that things or get hooked with that someone? With things is quite easy, we got one more crap, that we don't need, but in relations is a bit more complicated, especially when kids come along. You can't go back and you certainly don't have motivation to go further. If one didn't meet abbeys of life before, it will have hanging over head now. Damn, it's hard to live like that or with the decision you make. Trust me, i have been through that all, but now i see it was worth it and i'm see now that the money is the easiest part of equation.

The hard part comes in relations with my daughter, since there are involved other persons from my old and new life. At the beginning was wondering about decision i made, but by unplugging the unnecessary world out of my life, the ideal path was shown on my palm, as bright as could be. It navigate me and i followed blindfolded. Not even with blink in my eye, i stepped into journey of clear decisions and with peace on my mind. I was already way down the road, when i asked my self for the first time in correctness of decision i made. Maybe is in my nature, maybe it was just too late, but i didn't feel any regret about it. It gave me strength beyond expectations and opened the doors to places i haven't even dreamed of.

So, here i am, in a present, in time of my life, looking for new me, the one, i use to want to be and hoping to find that self. The signs i'm getting are positive, the marks i follow, shows the right direction, with not knowing the future, i'm getting. But that is the charm of our lives, to be ourselfs and not someones clones. Yeap, that who i want to be.